Ruts In The Lives Of Boys: Part 3

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This final stage of teaching our sons the importance of “a woman to love” is a very crucial stage.

It does not take long for a man to see the truth of Genesis 2:18 “It is not good for man to be alone.” This stage is taught at an early age by both parents. The way a father treats the mother in front of the son is demonstrating how to treat a woman. The father sets the tone for how a boy treats women. The more a father cherishes and loves his wife, the more a boy sees the way a woman should be treated. The father does this by word and deed. If the family has daughters there will be many opportunities to teach the concept of “taking care of the lady you are with.” A boy needs to understand the way he treats his sisters will reflect the way he will treat other girls and then one day possibly his wife. When Percival leaves home in the story of King Arthur his mother says, “You will soon be a knight, my son…If you encounter, near or far, a lady in need of help, or any damsel in distress, be ready to aid her if she asks you to, for all honor lies in such deeds. When a man fails to honor ladies, his own honor must be dead.”

As a boy reaches the teen years, he will understand quickly that he is growing taller than his mother and is stronger than her. Teenage boys respect strength and this is when the father begins to teach the respect of the weaker vessel. Now by stating that the woman is a weaker vessel, that does not mean the woman is weakly or wimpy, but it does mean that the woman should be cherished, protected and held in high esteem. The weaker vessel concept can be demonstrated by this example: if you have china in your house, ask your teenager why the china is placed high and only used at special times? The answer is the value of the piece and the delicacy of the piece. Womanhood needs to be elevated in the mind of a teenage boy. This is the time when the internet will also be defining a disrespectful approach to womanhood. A woman is not just a thing that can be used and disregarded. She is a person God created with purpose. A teenager who elevates and honors a woman knowing and understanding that she is made in the image of God will understand why it is wrong to look at a woman for self-gratification purposes.

Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”


As the teenager moves into the dating years, the way he treats the woman he is dating will show the ruts that were established in his earlier years. The way the son treats his mother is a good indication if he is mature enough to date. If he is disrespectful to his mother, then he will most likely be disrespectful to his girlfriend. A teenager that respects women will demonstrate it in several ways while dating:


  1. He will ask the father of the girl he likes for permission to date his daughter.
  2. He will respect the rules the girl’s family has for dating.
  3. He will respect the girl’s purity.

In conclusion, here is what is at stake. One day this young boy will be called by God to obey Ephesians 5:25-30: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.”

He will be held accountable in how He demonstrated to the world the way Christ loves His Bride– the Church. The way he demonstrates the way Christ loves the Church is by the way he honors and respects the gift that God gives him– “a woman to love.”

by Tim Yorgey

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