How do I help my teen make decision?
If you were to spend time at a rock quarry you would see many different sizes of rocks being separated into different piles. The big rocks into one pile, medium rocks into another and smaller rocks into yet another different pile. The way the rocks are separated is with different size screens with different size holes in them. The different size holes let some rocks through and other rocks are caught and sent to different places. With this in minds there are several steps a parent should walk a child through in making any decision.
The first screen is the Word of God. We ask the question: “Does the Bible clearly call what I am about to do a sin?”. Therefore, as parents we need to study the Word and teach our children to study the Word as well. Micah 6:8 declares, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.”
The second screen is, “What do my parents say about this activity?”. Parents are God-given to help children make decisions and children are to obey their parents as the Bible clearly says in Ephesians 6:1. While children are living in the parent’s house, they are under their parent’s authority. When the teen moves out on their own, the role becomes one of guidance. Going from being under authority to the guidance role slowly happens during the teenage years as the teenager shows true biblical maturity and shows they can handle more adult decisions.
The third screen is, “Does this activity cause my love for God to grow? John Wesley’s mother once was asked what is sin and being a mother of 19 children she clearly said:
- Whatever weakens your reasoning
- Impairs the tenderness of your conscience
- Obscures your sense of God
- Takes way your relish for spiritual things.
Each one of these points helps parents and teens to gain a clearer idea in many situations of the correct path according to biblical truth. At the end of the day we must remember Proverbs 3:5-8, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
by Tim Yorgey